Gretel and the Blind Witch

She spoiled me like Queen’s only know its pleasures. Adorning me with gifts. The tangible offerings is what were offered to prey on my affections, to keep me bound. I always happily accepted, because behind every gift delight surrounded her essence. Watching her joy unwrapping within her eyes, while watching me unwrapping mine, are times in space gravity is born. I became enchanted by the glitter encompassing her inner child that insisted on playing. She is, I have found, the most unpredictable then. I never knew what playful trick she had up her sleeve; my inner child could not tame the nerves entangled with excitement and wariness. Was it Lilith, the child, coming out to play, or Lilith the adult luring me in for a quick snack. When Mercury, the trickster, is at his peak, Saturn must anticipate closely.

I made the mistake by asking for gifts money could not buy; Her time and her love. Far too consumed by how strongly I felt for her, and distracted by the strumming of the harp Cherubs played, I failed to notice I misplaced my sense of logic which, in time, followed with bereavement.

All good things do come to an end.

I gathered all the breadcrumb memories that she left with me and preserved them. There is enough to scatter a trail to allow her to find her way back to me, should it ever come to that, but I know better to leave traces. I have before, and it was met with the same differences. How could I expect different results by continuously knocking my head against the wall, when I could not offer myself a brief moment of respite? I had struggled to come to terms that our relationship had lack-lusted and nothing was going to salvage us.

Nothing is what is left over.

The perfect picture I saw at first, had never developed a frame to support it. My love for her eventually turned into becoming-accustomed-to-her-way of doing things. I could never fully express myself to her, nor could I truly be myself. I was seated firmly in a controlled environment and confused it as love. None of this I accuse her solely of.